The Spider and The Lie
Season 2, Episode 47
Screen shot 2015-04-29 at 11.49.27 AM
Air date April 24, 2001
Written by Joe Fallon
Directed by Ted May
Episode guide
Quest! Quest! Quest!
Why the Baboon's Balloon Went Ka-boom!
IMG 2744

Plot Edit

Lionel writes a crime story that includes Mr. Monkey, a spider, and a lie.

Segments Edit

  • Martha Reader and The Vowelles: kite
  • Chalkboard: kite, white, while, mile, smile
  • Fred Says: smile
  • "I Got A Good Reason to Write" (song)
  • Gawain's Word: chime
  • Information Hen tells time
  • 14 Karat Soul: long I (I, I)
  • The Lone Rearranger Rewrites Again: Cowboys Must Ride Horses Into The Corral
  • Word Machine: ride, hide, hid, hip, rip
  • Vowel Boot Camp: rip/ripe
  • A word from Al Roker: chilly
  • Fred Newman sings "Get Your Mouth Moving"


Busterfield: Barnaby B. Busterfield III had a spider, and inside his head was where Barnaby would hide her. Heh heh heh. Take that, Mother Goose. Heh heh.

Theo: Mr. Monkey, can you tell the court your full name, please?
Monkey: Monkey C. Monkeydew.

Click: So? Continue, continue. And I fail to see why you need a pencil when you have a state-of-the-art computer.
Lionel: Writers need pencils. You can’t chew on a computer.

Lionel: Poor kid. He took her straight down Chump Street in a leaky canoe.
Click: Lionel, where’s Chump Street?

Leona: I like the cute animal genre. Can you write in the cute animal genre, Lionel?
Lionel: Oh, come on, Leona. I’m trying to concentrate. Take a powder, dollface.
Leona: ‘Take a powder, dollface’?
Lionel: That's the way they talk in the crime genre.

Rug: If there is no book, then he is not the crook. If he says it’s not so, you must let him go!
Click: You, rug! Lie down!
Rug: Okay.

Monkey C. Monkeydew: Yes, I admit it! I lied! I did it! I lied about the whole thing!

Monkey C. Monkeydew: (after handing the book to Theo and Cleo) Here. I’m really sorry. I just couldn’t afford a library card!
Theo: (along with Cleo and everyone else) But they’re free!
Monkey C. Monkeydew: Free? You’re kidding. (Theo and Cleo shake their heads)


  • This is the first time an episode of this show is shown in black and white.


  • Rug's feeble attempts at defending his client, Monkey C. Monkeydew, are a spoof on "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit," a phrase coined by defense attorney Johnnie Cochran, referring to a glove that was a piece of evidence in the infamous 1995 O.J. Simpson murder trial. Though the monkey in the story eventually broke down and confessed, Simpson was acquitted.


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